No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
