Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
