so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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