my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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