4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Randomize
