I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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