I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
