Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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