I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just want nice things and good sex
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
