She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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