Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
