Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
