her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize