Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
