Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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