remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
