He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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