Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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