you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
