I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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