well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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