So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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