Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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