Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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