I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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