I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
