Already got asked if we're dating
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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