I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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