I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
