DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
