i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
