no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
As shirtless as possible
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
