I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
