Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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