Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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