I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
