weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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