It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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