turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
