I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
