Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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