she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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