nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
