True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
