guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
