Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
