Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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