As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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