No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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