Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
