the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
