is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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