no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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