I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
