Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
