So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
