You're completely useless in the revolution.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
