She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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