Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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