so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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