never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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