haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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