he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
