So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The air was thick with penises
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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