I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
