I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that