I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends