I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it