Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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