At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Farmville is her only friend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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