Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
