Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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