The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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